William Blacknails - Trevor
Eternity
To All Citizens of the Glorious People's Union
Let it be known that the Brigand, Maurauder, Thief and Cutthroat known as 'Captain' Bill Blacknails is an enemy of civilization. Citizens are encouraged to report any sighting of his skyships; The Celestial mare; The Herald Rocket, and the Black Fiction. Captain Blacknails has been charged with crimes as follows.
- Theft of GPU military technology.
- Sabotage of GPU military equipment.
- Countless minor infractions including Fraud, Larceny, Tresspass, Property Damage, Arson, Illegal Possession of Deadly Weapons, Murder.
- Resisting arrest in a most callous and excessive manner.
- Persistent acts of piracy against GPU trade shipments.
- Impersonating a Union official.
- Kidnap of slamming hotties.
- Propagation of poor quality fiction of an adult nature.
- Trafficking in Contraband.
- Subversion of innocent youths.
- Attending of highly illegal parties.
- Pratical Terrorism of the Highest Order.
Let it be known that a reward of 10,000 People's Union Bottlecaps has been agreed for those who can bring this fiend to justice. A further reward of 3,250 PUBs will be offered for information leading to the location and neutralization of Captain Blacknails' “Holiday Retreat for Busy Pirates”.
Further let it be noted that anyone found in possession of stolen goods 'reposessed' by Blacknails may be subject to a 100 PUB fine. Those in possession of stolen boots or boot cannons will be judged in the harshest light of the law.
Further let it be noted that anyone proved to have sheltered Blacknails from the authorities will be subject to a 500 PUB fine. However charismatic the man may appear, failure in civic duty will be viewed as a crime.