Turn 3 News

In a poorly thought out move, the Zwergwinn were directed to the fragment occupied by the Brewers, mostly non-combatants. The Jacks attempted to push them back, but were ultimately overwhelmed and forced to retreat by the Zwergwinn forces.

Casualties occurred on both sides, with the Zwergwinn raiding the Brewers' settlement and other men raiding the Jacks when they were weakened by the fighting.

Members of Clan Watson report hearing the sounds of a mighty battle from the swamp on their fragment. There are explosions, yells, the clang of sword on sword, and various unearthly screams fill the night. As the sun rises a disparate and wounded lot emerged from the swamp; Raijin and Enki lead a small group of clansmen, guarding a stretcher holding Cyrus; Rurik is shuffling along looking deep in thought; and behind them come a large group of children, all looking downcast. As for the inhabitants, the people of Clan Watson report seeing even less of them than normal; there is no giggling in the dark places of the forest, or discarded sweets found on the paths.

After the judgement from Arbiter Augustin Volyova:

“The Rodesh'Mise took action against the health of a member of the Conoscenza. Thus, in order to foster the health of the members alive today, they are to gift the Conoscenza a levy of food from their farms. The Conoscenza by their actions harmed the property of the Rodesh'Mise, and thus in order to right this wrong they are to gift the Rodesh'Mise a levy of quality farming implements made from their “improved iron”, which is said to last longer than other metal, and thus can pay for the wrong for many years.”

The Rodesh'Mise have now given food to the Conoscenza and the Conoscenza have now given farming equipment made from a better quality of Iron, discovered by Pennington Deepcut.

Amongst the ribaldry and rowdiness of the drinking and gambling halls, a shrewd tradesman could find many a bargain at the Archipelago's first Festival of Trades and Arts. Many goods, livestock and useful tools were brought by helpful clans and traded with another, and at the centre of this whirling system of agreements, commodities, trading contracts and commerce one man stood; Basian Meade. Seemingly present at every discussion to make a cut of the profits, Basian fluidly shifted his stocks from glass and mirrors to food to mercury to stuffed animals, every time making a tidy sum on the side. Any trader looking for a hot tip as to what will do well on the market could do better than talk to this man.

On the entertainments side, the festivalgoers were well supplied, both by members of the Gogol family giving away their traditional and fierce Firewater and Al of the Brewers, setting up his tent and beer kegs. Additionally, a large amount of musical entertainments were provided by the Gogol family and other wandering players, and numerous people won a great deal on the games of chance run by the hosts.

Overseer Sixus has built a Guildhall on the fragment containing the Crown of Unity, however there is nobody currently running it. One of the clans on the fragment needs to step up to the role of running the Guildhall to keep the news flowing. The contesting clans are:

• The Crown of Unity
• The Red Knives
• The Corvidae
• The Rodesh'Mise

Seen around the Guildhalls are strange men in copper masks. They have been preaching about the value and cleansing properties of hard work, of all pulling together to secure a better tomorrow. Not many people have been paying them heed, but some people have been listening.

The parts of the Archipelago not battered by the Zwerginn invasion found themselves under attack from nature itself this season, as the clouds burst open and unleashed energies of fire, lightning and acid upon the settlements. Thankfully, with prior warning the affected seem fine; the Milliners are secure in their Storm-proof hats, the Sedlaks hide in their bunker, and the library of the Rjanslaf is saved by quick action with tarpaulins and bucket chains. The settlement of the Corvidae were prepared for a tough ride, but strangely all the lightning that came towards them instead stuck a spot on a nearby hillside.

The Cartel has been busy. It has announced two Alliances this season. First the Cartel has officially taken on the Religion of the Followers of Dolos. This has sprung from a number of members of the cartel joining the religion. The Top hat has announced that the beliefs of Dolos are compatable, even complement the ideology of the Cartel.

They have also entered an alliance with the Earthborne, Eugene Sherlock Hackworth mooting the idea to his own clan, then Galea sealing the deal. It is suggested this alliance will be secured with the marriage of Galea Beeching and Eugene Hackworth.

The Free Masons guild has been founded by Servius Tullius. It is a guild for builders, so that they can share their designs and all profit from the work of their fellow guild members. The guild will be able to be hired for very reasonable rates, and any people with experience building should talk to Servius if they wish to join.

Breaking News: The Archipelago corn markets took a huge hit yesterday, as reserves of corn (otherwise known as fields) found themselves depleted overnight. This has sent the price of corn skyrocketing, reaching its highest point ever at two dozen beers per pound of cornflour.

The sudden developments have sent the other agricultural markets into a state of panic, as clans fear their crops will be disappearing next. The Watsons have been hoarding their wheat, and the Crimson Shirts have recently been selling their beets at twice the previous going rate.

Authorities fear that the current state of affairs will only worsen existing tensions between clans, and fears of riots in some as food shortages strike. Anger seems to be bubbling beneath the surface, one man told us:

“We've heard these clans say they're fighting for freedom and justice, but we really all know it's about securing the Corn reserves…”

Another, a father of four, said:

“I don't care about others, I have a family to feed. I'll do whatever it takes to make sure they can survive.”

”…so Natural Studies is being taught by Vesper of the Milliners. You know, the one with… yes, that one. Apparently she turned up late to her own class with a lid-covered bucket, a badly chewed sleeve and translucent ooze dripping off her glasses. Anyway, she made all the children put on hard hats with bells on, so she'd know where each of them were, and led them into this room full of _teeth_. Great snake fangs the length of your arm, yellow tusks, huge shiny mandibles. She had some complete jaws mounted up on a contraption that snapped them shut when you pulled a cord, and she showed how some of these jaws could bite through logs or even metal bars. That's when the youngest kids started wailing.

“Then she opened up this box, and inside was… well, they said it looked a bit like someone had sneezed a lizard into existence. Little gecko head and feet, but in the middle just this slow ooze like molten green wax. And transparent, so you could look right in and see all its innards pulsing and throbbing. Seems it was there so everyone could see how the organs fitted together, but when the screaming started the critter went into some kind of fit, and Vesper chased everyone out. Last seen she was cooing to it and feeding it live earthworms…”

— A School ! Opening on the Milliner’s fragment this season was a brand new shiny school, providing the best education on the whole archipelago, students have started to be admitted, confirmed lecturers are Vesper, Pennington, Ariston Paramone and The brotherhood of light and dark.

Places are allocated on a first come first serve basis, while payment is negotiated on an individual basis with the Cartel.

All hail the Defenders of the Archipelago!

For they have protected us from the foul Zwerginn, 5 vicious raider fragments came and hit the archipelago, but Eugene Sherlock Hackworth funnelled them to well defended landing sites around the archipelago. Working on the Defence were, Derrick Greymist, Eugene Sherlock Hackworth, Augustin Volyova, Raijin Sedlak, Artemis Velen, as well as a fragment seen leaving the Milliners fragment, and Justinian, who cleared out the few battered troops not killed by Clan Jacks.

However our glorious defenders let one slip through the net. A fragment hit the Clearsky clan, carrying off all their wealth, and slaughtering most of the clan.

The brewers have started selling beer to the clans as export. This seems to be the beer that was being sold before. Also for the true beer fan, an extra strength beer is available, and seems to have good anaesthetic properties as doctors and their ilk are using it to Dum the pain of operations.

Look about you; have you ever seen a more generous, kind-hearted lot than Clan Watson? After their fragment fell into the Mist, did they despair? Did they fall to their knees and rend their garments? No! They stood firm, and found a place with the Most Kind Sedlak clan, who they hope to pay back in full some day. Now the Watson settlement is as modern a place as you might want, with new concrete buildings, large living accomodations, a large number of research stations to carry out the clan trade, and of course this most fine guildhall.

The Guildhall network has now fully got on its feet, with the infrastructure almost completely in place. Across the Archipelago, travellers know that there will most likely be a nearby guildhall where they can rest their feet, pick up the local news, and be assured of a mug of beer at a fair and reasonable price.

A sign behind the bar at one of the Guildhalls.

Beer prices:

Wheat: one sack per pint. Corn: one ounce per pint. Gems: two of good quality per pint. Cloth: One yard per pint. Secrets: Variable, see manager.

From 'Yer Farm and Yew', a handwritten pamphlet produced by Clan Jeebe. Gawain Roberts has been hard at work at his farm, and has acheived great results. His crops grow faster and healthier than any other, and what's his secret? It's simple; returning to the land what it has given to him. We visited his farm to find out more.

“Well, oi've never been much of a man for words” mumbles the humble farmer, “but oi've always 'ad a knack for farming, see. When yew've spent time about the beasts you notice a few things, like that where you dump their dung, things start growing a bit better. Oi reckoned there could be summat in that, and so oi did some testing. Turns out, if you take the dung, mix it with some plants, and add a sprinking of moi special formula, yer crops turn out better than ever an' full o' vigour.”

The results are clear to see; he has acres of wheat about him, and it's taking all the effort of his family to bring it in. We wonder, where next for this farmer of wonders?

[…] As number 6a passes the ball to the opposing team, number alpha-3 performs his arabesque… OH NO, they managed to grab the bucket, but here comes the weasel, will they be able to defend properly? It weaves in and out of their base, the archers can't do anything… wow look at that, the red team managed to pick up a prime number of arrows, the blue captain is off to the penalty box where he'll try to find the needle in the bowl of gravy.[…]

[…] The score is currently at six passes, eleven downs, three crickets and a run for the red team, the blue team have yet to hit the target with a single dart, and the green and gamma teams are currently tied in the combat fishing phase. OH LOOK AT THAT, the lead recoverer tackled the blue team's butler, that's a 6 leg penalty, three team members swap, nine go into the off-zone and the penalty shot is going to be taken. […]

[…] While the beehive is full, the red and gamma teams are attempting to spear the tiger. The blues still retain posession of the vine. Here come green bearing the three western flags. The beehive is currently emptying, and there are three blue teammembers wounded… Oh, here comes the bull-rider, charging through the red team. Gamma team grabs the yellow snake… Ooooh, wrong snake, that's one player who's not getting up again. Green manage to score six runs while the blue are busy fending off the bees with their own hornet-tamers […]

[…] It's the green team's turn to serve, the gamma team is patiently waiting with their home cooked meals… Here comes the serve… Intercepted by the blue team's wombat wrangler as the reds unleash the praying matis. If either of those teams manage to catch the octopus and find the coin, they'll have won the first round. […]

Final Score: Blue 19-6-a-13-28-00-p, Red 98-1-1-rabbit-332, Green 6, Gamma eleventeen-54-cyan-78-00-00

Green Win by 45-56-5-5-8

• I heard Timothy Bygone has moved in with Pennington Deepcut!
• Did you know training happens 35% faster if set to music?
• There have been strange explosions in the wilds near the Conoscenza.
• T'was a vole, sure enough, but big as a man and with an evil gleam in its eyes!
• Now why would you use that? You'd hurt yourself more than your enemy.
• I tell you, marriage standards are getting pretty damn liberal these days. I hear some'll cast Union on ANY pair.
• Bears! The Bears are waking!
• He staggered in, still reeking of beer, saying he'd woke up in a ditch with a weird copper mask on his face. I call it disgraceful.
• Everybody needs a montage.
• That fragment stack looks like it's got bigger.
• Great pyramids are being unearthed on the fragments. What lives inside?
• Justinian seems awfully fond of birds.
• New metals you say?
• The Spequorii are fortifying
• There's a tower like fragment, with snake like birds nesting at the top, its heading for the archipellago.
• Wealth beyond your wildest dreams. Where? I'm not telling you.

• Discreet Clan Leader looking for reliable and subtle Assassins for odd jobs.
• Looking for Assassins, willing to pay handsomely, contact the Rodesh'Mise.
• Looking for Assassins, willing to pay handsomely, contact the Milliners.
• Young Beautiful, filthy rich belle seeks handsome prince. Contact clan Clearsky.
• Looking for Assassins, willing to pay handsomely, contact the Order of Dolos.
• Looking for Assassins, willing to pay handsomely, contact the Order of Amethyst.
• Looking for Assassins, willing to pay handsomely, contact the Necropolis.
• Looking for Assassins, willing to pay handsomely, contact the little girls in the swamp.
• Wanted: head of Manifold Jacks. Please deliver fresh and unspoilt.
• For Sale, Wheelbarrow. Need Corn, no reasonable offer refused.
• Have you seen my Bear? If found, Keep.
• Wanted: Your poop. Price negotiable.