comrade_ivan@brokenworld.chaosdeathfish.com
Comrade Ivan is the Most Noble and Ingenious People’s Secretary for Agriculture, Technical Progress and the Scientific Advancement of Humanity, Special Scientific Adviser to the Most Splendid and Beneficent of Beings, El Presidente and Trusted Ambassador to the Grand Biannual Convention of Clans. He is a socially inept boffin (the People's socially inept boffin), and is brought along to the Temple meetings to act as an adviser and general technical expert.
Clan: The Glorious People's Benevolent Democratic Republic of the Citizens Magnificent Strength
A heavy book, detailing all the products available from the laboratories of the People's Republic. A picture of an old, but smiling Comrade Ivan is on the cover, a belligerent-looking rat with a red cape and peaked cap on his shoulder.
Jellyfish-be-gone - Have your friends and family been set upon by hordes of jellyfish? Have you purchased land at bargain prices, only to find it's covered in jellyfish nests? Or do you just wish to do your bit for the GPU and exterminate the jellyfish menace before it sucks all the life from the New World? Whatever the reason, you can't go wrong with Comrade Ivan's patented jellyfish=be-gone! Just spray the offending creature or area, and you will not only kill the offending creature, but every other jellyfish it knows! Try out this simple, effective, efficient treatment today!
Mist Protection Potion - Simple yet powerful, Comrade Ivan's secret blend of 11 herbs and minerals will keep you protected from any effects of the Mists, whether mental or physical. A must for clans living at low altitudes, or those addled by the Mist! If you are planning an expedition into the Mists, don't forget to buy the Super-Strength Mistproofing Solution, to keep your equipment and clothes safe too!
Personal Transport Turtle - Do you find yourself having to carry large amounts of equipment on expeditions, but the terrain is too unstable for a horse or mule? Do you want an easier way to transport your shopping? Worry not! For a small price, you too can be the owner of a Personal Transport Turtle! At a metre across, the turtle's back is an ideal way to transport your possessions, especially with the ridges bred into the turtle to keep items safely on the shell. Your Transport Turtle only requires modest amounts of lettuce and water to be happy, and is docile and compliant.
Ovine Firelighter - Although past models have had some issues with flame incontinence and house training, a breakthrough in miniaturisation has created a truly desirable product. No larger than your hand, these tiny sheep are content to spend their days grazing on compressed grass pellets (sold seperately) in their easy-carry cage (sold separately). When stroked in a particular pattern, however, they will expel a tongue of flame, perfect for lighting fires, candles or cigars.
“Following the death of Comrade Ivan, the great pioneer of experimental biology in our time, we at Meade Publishing decided to publish a new volume of the pioneering work that provided the foundation for a lifetime of dazzling ingenuity and unstoppable experimentation. Within these pages you can learn the secrets of his most ingenious acheivements; the fire-breathing sheep, the transport fish, the Bearsheep and the embalming of the great El Peesidente, ensuring that his body remains unmarred by the passage of time. Please be aware that many of the experiments detailed within this book are of a highly advanced nature, and may require shamanic assistance and/or official governmental sanction.”